Pittsburgh Penguins.

James: That's probably the most respectful thing I've ever seen happen in a hockey game.
Me: And that's how you know it's not a Penguins game.

Japan disaster.

James: You know, the ocean just come and suck up the nuclear power plants. That would solve all of Japan's problems.
Me: You mean, like, if a random tsunami just came and ate the power plants?
James: Well, no...
Me: Or if the ocean formed a fist and grabbed the power plants and sucked them into a black hole?
James: Okay, you're being a douchenozzle. That's not what I meant.